


And I must see you again

by sherlocked221



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: The First Avenger, First Kiss, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 02:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8604196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlocked221/pseuds/sherlocked221
Summary: Bucky is leaving for the war in the morning and he has this last night to spend with Steve.The thing is, neither has admitted that they actually love one another and this seems like a bad time to finally confess their love, especially when they may never see each other again, but they are silently heartbroken.





	

**Author's Note:**

> (Title taken from The Monkees' song Last Train To Clarksville  
> 'Cause I'm leavin' in the morning  
> And I must see you again  
> We'll have one more night together)

“So, my last night here…” Bucky said. He sounded solemn. He was not himself. He gazed at the wallpaper of his room and out the window at the not-so-scenic view like it was the last time he’d ever see it again. His eyes studied everything; the elongated patterns in the wooden desk, the mismatched set of duvet covers laying on the bed, the dull colour of the carpet in the low light as night fell. Steve watched his best friend become tight-lipped and serious, so unlike the man he’d grown up to know. The only other time he ever remembered Bucky being this quiet was the day that Mr and Mrs Rogers were found dead. It was his duty to tell Steve that his mum and dad had been killed and it was the most painful moment that either had come to know. This, however, took a close second.

“Yeah… er, I’m gonna miss you, Buck.” Steve muttered as he sat, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He didn’t know what else to say. There was something in the air, hanging over both their heads like black clouds, something that probably should’ve been addressed, but neither could fully bring themselves to admit. Steve could feel it weighing his neck down, his head too heavy for his shoulders to carry with all the thoughts of what the morning might bring. Subtly, he shook his head of short, blond hair as Bucky came to sit beside him, face expressionless as though he were out of things to feel.

“Bucky?” Steve breathed, gazing at the floor with misty eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to miss me?” It had been an attempt to force a quick witted comment back, along the lines of ‘for two seconds until I see a nice nurse to befriend’ but it ended up with Bucky wrapping his arms around his smaller friend, nose buried between the curve where neck turns into shoulder. There was a wave of sadness that radiated in Bucky’s warmth and penetrated Steve’s flesh making tears clog his throat. He bit his lip so not to find himself helplessly sobbing into Bucky’s shirt; not again. Once, he spent a week crying, Bucky by his side. He didn’t feel like ruining the last night they might ever see each other again by doing the same thing, only, all in 10 hours.

“I’m gonna miss you so much, you couldn’t even understand.” Bucky’s fragile words vibrated against Steve’s skin and reached to his heart like a hand grasping at his chest. There was nothing either one could do but accept that this may be the last time they’d speak or laugh or cry together. Steve couldn’t help allowing his voice to crack as he spoke.

“I’ll be there soon too, then we can fight together.” He whispered.

“‘til the end of the line.” Bucky replied, now permitting himself to choke up a little. Steve released him from the embrace, but flat one of his palms comfortingly on Bucky’s back. He watched several tears stream down his friend’s cheek and into the join of his two lips. With his shaking, free hand, he brought up an outstretched finger and used the side to cut the stream off, brushing Bucky’s lips and soft skin as he did. Bucky observed this with keen eyes, smiling weakly at a previous memory; he’d done the same thing to Steve once upon a sad time ago. It may not have been a very nice time for his friend, but the recollection had made Bucky feel a little better. “Don’t you start crying, ya punk.” He laughed, intakes of breath broken by the mass of tears in his throat. Steve also chuckled, feebly, Bucky’s arm swinging around his shoulders and dragging him to lean in.

“Jerk.” Steve retorted. Now that they were both smiling, they could finally look each other in the eye, their wet, reddened eyes meeting.

“I love you, Steve, I really do.” Bucky uttered, “I really don’t want to leave tomorrow,” He shut his eyes, squeezing them tight so not to start crying again, “and I know that when I do leave… I might never see you again. Please… don’t forget me.” For some reason, Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Bucky, wanting to be remembered? He’d never be forgotten by anyone who so much as exchange greetings with him and he wanted to be remembered by a weedy, blue eyed, boy-sized man?

“I couldn’t, not even if I wanted to.”

Steve didn’t want to cry again. He could feel it, rising up in his chest, the need to sob now that his friend had basically admitted that he might die after leaving the next day. Instead, he reacted in the oddest way, desperate to show Bucky that he’ll never forget, never stop loving him, he reached up to press a kiss on his friend’s slightly parted mouth. For a second, both were startled, but funnily enough, it felt right. When they pulled away, Steve brought up his hand to feel his lips. He gazed at Bucky though misty eyes, looking as though he were asking for acceptance, after all, these things could land them both in jail, but the expression looking back at him was a half smile.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for that.” Bucky said, “Never thought you would be the one to kiss me though.”

Steve found himself grinning shamelessly, “Better late than never.”


End file.
